The process of trying to get back at an unfaithful husband usually causes more harm to us than it does to him. Being angry and planning to get revenge takes up a lot of time and energy. I should be spending my time trying to figure out what I want to do with myself now, instead of focusing on the past. This process took more time than it would have if I had figured it out right away.
I’m not usually a violent person. I’m a Christian. I strive to forget any hurts. I tried to live by those words from St. Paul’s letter addressed to Ephesian believers: “Don’t let anger control you or become fuel for revenge at all, not even for one day! Don’t let sexist or ugly phrases come out of your mouth. Instead, make your words lovely gifts that inspire others. You can do this by expressing words of faith to aid people.” When I was battling with my unfaithful husband, I was not even close to implementing the phrases.
When I discovered that my husband had been having an affair with a different woman, and after three years of realizing that he would not end that relationship, I didn’t feel a positive, happy, gorgeous reaction! I wanted to do as retribution for my husband’s recurrent infidelity to cause his penis to go dark and disappear. I wanted him to be unhappy for the rest of his life until he died!
When I first learned that my husband had a girlfriend, I cannot remember being upset enough by any circumstances even to consider getting revenge. After my frantic sadness was exhausting me, I thought that my husband should feel a small amount of the hurt caused by his actions. However, when I discovered him cheating … all my pious spiritual thoughts vanished. It was not only myself but also my loved ones.
If our spouse cheats in a way, it causes almost unbearable pain. (Can an unfaithful marriage last?) it’s hard to catch our breath because it’s so painful.
Physical discomfort may not be as severe as emotional distress. When we suffer from physical pain, it is possible to use Tylenol or an Ice pack. There isn’t a quick fix for the pain that comes when our husband tears our heart out over his unfaithful behavior! The images in our minds come back to us now and again. The worst part is that he often believes that his life has taken an excellent new direction.
The majority of people who have never felt the pain of an adulterous relationship are likely to think that phrases like “rip my heart out” or ” it hurts as he stabbed me with a knife” are too dramatic. Anyone who’s experienced it realizes that these statements don’t suffice to explain the severity of it. They aren’t enough.
We ask ourselves if the feeling of sadness and despair will ever disappear. Then it does, which is usually when anger and rage start to rise, and thoughts of revenge are brewing.
Don’t Get Yourself Into Legal Trouble.
At MDR, We’ve been conducting this midlife divorce recovery process over the last 20 years. After the husband’s cheating, we have heard many tales of revenge.
- Paint (with enamel) the words W-H-O-R -E on the one side of her car and S-L-U -T on the other side. The husband was then required to drive the car to take it to the cleaners. (Over $500 of damage, I would guess it was a crime of a felony)
- Tossing all potted plants from the deck of the girlfriend’s home at which the boyfriend is … as well tossing the furniture on the deck to add the sake of it! (A felony – federal property!) and then slamming into her mailbox while you are trying to get away.
- Write scathing remarks on his (with super-bright permanent markers) in the drawers in the furniture he is using. (Again, the destruction of properties?)
Other stories I’ve read or found on the internet on how to make your husband pay back for cheating:
- Supergluing his penis to his thigh (when you’re drunk and passed out). Is this a desecration of property owned by private owners? Or assault? Should you be required to cover his journey into the ER?
- Fishing small pieces inside the curtain rods in the home he’s going to live in. (Very difficult to find!) Is this a case of harassment or property damage?
You’ll be surprised. These stories do not come from unbalanced, crazy women. These are usually stories of controlled corporate types or gentle grandmothers. The husband’s cheating causes things to your heart and triggers unsettling, intense, and uncontrollable emotions to flood over you. Women who are ordinary flesh and blood tend to think about how they can retaliate against their husbands for cheating.
WARNING! Never do anything you will regret!
A few of the stories in this article on how to take revenge on your cheating spouse could result in grave legal implications. (I might have to create a RADiCAL Defense Fund!)
Trust me again! After several long years of helping women get through the process following divorce, usually due to infidelity, I’ll repeat that you must always do the right thing! It’s not worth a fine, an imprisonment sentence, or being required to appear in court and confess that you were in control. It also gives you a reason to make the judge believe you’re constantly in control.
Leave Him: Get A Divorce
If you’ve tried everything you can in an attempt to salvage your relationship and get your spouse to go to his partner and return to your home, you may face the reality that he does not want to go home and that your marriage is over.
In the end, after all that affair, there’s nothing more painful than lying at home with your husband and wondering if he wants to be in the bed of someone else. I finally realized that I could not get the kind of marriage I had envisioned with a man who would not commit to me.
It’s among the most painful decisions we’ll be faced with, but usually, it’s the right decision. If the issues can’t be resolved, we’re forced to accept that our marriage is not sustainable. If nothing but a miracle occurs, women usually seek divorce due to the infidelity of their spouses.
Don’t Jeopardize Divorce Proceedings.
Sometimes, taking vengeance on your husband’s cheater could give you a feeling of satisfaction to “getting even” in some small way. Remember: if you engage in conduct that can be reported in the courtroom, it could cause your argument to be an acceptable agreement less likely. Your husband might be able to say, “See! I’ve got evidence! She’s insane!”
Mainly when we have children, regardless of the cheater your soon-to-be ex-husband might have been, be sure to keep your cool and avoid doing anything that could get in the way of getting to be with your children as often as you can once the divorce is finished.
Additionally, we must provide an excellent example of handling difficult things for our kids. This sounds neat and neat. In reality, when you’re in love, your mood can sometimes be bizarre and bizarre! Don’t do anything that will make you go to jail when your husband is lying on a blanket in the sun with his sweetheart, drinking wine and reading poetry. Retribution-based crimes against an unfaithful husband are reasonable. Unproductive and stupid yet acceptable.
Let’s say our husband has a shady relationship and refuses to fix it. In that case, We must put aside the idea of revenge and begin thinking about who we are and what we would like to be. Revenge never works. It takes a lot of energy and time that we could spend on more productive methods.
In redefining our lives and redefining ourselves, we must make a conscious decision and resolve to make the change. It’s simple (but highly depressing!) to be stuck where we are angry and sad and not being in control of our lives again. It is time to stop worrying about what he is entitled to and work to ensure we are entitled to the life we want.
Be The Best Version Of Yourself: Be Happy
It’s real! The best way to get revenge is to help you create an incredible new life! It’s your choice! You can’t make that happen when we continue to blame the person who made us where we are. In the end, it is time to recognize that our lives are in the hands of us and that we must take action every day to live the life we’ve deserved from the beginning.
We have to complete the work of grieving. We must do the work of healing. Every day, we improve, become more robust, and determine the most exciting, enjoyable, and purposeful way forward. The future we choose is entirely ours. It’s our job to determine our new vision and then do our best to ensure that it’s the future that we deserve!
It is important to say to ourselves, “No matter how bad it feels right now, I will not be destroyed or defined by this situation.” We must identify our talents and aspirations daily and then do our best to live the most enjoyable and fulfilled life. This is what’s best for the people who love us as well and us. We can do this for you by using our MasterPlan.